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Article Date: 12/19/2012
Name: Marci James-Anschutz
Hope in the Midst of Despair
If you would have asked me to write about hope 10 years ago I would have said, "Hope is a feeling that I have given up on." Hope was something I simply did not have. Events that happened to me did not put me a happy place. I was in a very abusive relationship for many years and lived in despair on a day to day basis. Darkness filled my life, and each day became worse and worse. Instead of seeing sunshine I saw dark clouds. I gave up on even the thought that there was still a full and rich life ahead of me. An amazing person entered my life. This person inspired me and taught me that in a world of darkness there is always hope. The definition of hope, according to Webster is: “The feeling that what is wanted can be had; or that events will tum out for the best.” So, I took that to heart. What is wanted can be had. My day to day life didn't change immediately, but in the midst of despair came a new hope that I could make a choice and turn my feelings of fear into a useful tool to get out of a situation that I could and did take control over.
As time went on I started to believe in myself again; to regain self‐esteem; to rebuild a life that was long since forgotten. Remembering the past is what keeps me moving forward.
To be able to give hope to another person is what I strive for. I heard a quote once which said, "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
Marci James is a Graduate of the Recovery Support Specialist Institute #30 (Fall 2012).
Reprinted with permission from the Recovery Support Specialist Newsletter, Family & Community Medicine, University of Arizona.
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